BJJ and Self Love

Christmas just flew by and I don’t know about yours, but it left my apartment looking like a tornado blew through it! It’s around this time that everyone is hustlin’ and bustlin’ – crafting, cooking, baking. Hosting or traveling for the holidays. There isn’t much time to get your personal life together and especially not the house.

My apartment is a complete and utter mess! I’ve got wrapping paper on the couch, luggage we have yet to unpack, loads of laundry to do, and all the Christmas outfit contenders lying around. Dishes in the sink and mugs of half drank tea on the counter. Presents we received from loved ones crowded around our living room and Christmas décor still up. What seemed cozy then now seems like clutter!

We were away from home for the holidays which didn’t leave much in between time to tidy up. We went to an Ugly Sweater Party on the 23^rd in San Diego at my sister-in-law’s house. We were so not prepared for this, but with all the felt I had lying around from my recent plushies crafts, we were able to put something together fast. My husband decorated his ugly sweater with a cut out felt piece of “Mr. Hanky, the Christmas Poo.” (Hand drawn by the way. My husband is an amazing artist.) He also colored the sweater with brown blotches from a marker LOL. It was pretty grodie but hilarious. I sewed a photo of my hubby on a sweater, glued on a cotton beard and a felt Christmas hat making him look like Santa Claus. (Not ugly – cute, in fact, but for lack of preparation and supplies, it was the only thing I could come up with. *Cue the tiny violins*)

The party had some really crazy ugly sweaters! Pizza slice boxes, candy wrappers, one random chancla (a flip-flop). I LOL’ed at the sight of that, and even more so when I saw a dude wearing a sweater with a big leopard print bra and a pink tutu. Next year, Charlie and I will be more prepared! Heck, even Peppercorn had an awesome Christmas sweater – baby blue with a snowman holding a broom. So cute. Feast yer’ eye on our sweater wearin’ selves below.

We spent Christmas Eve at my husband’s parent’s house eating posole and watching ‘Home Alone’. On Christmas day, we headed to my parent’s house. We ate carnitas, told jokes and watched more movies. So lots of Mexican food and movies all weekend. FUN!

Since being away for the last couple of days, I neglected my little apartment leaving everything out of place. Once I tidy up, I’ll feel like I have my life together a little more. Here are my best tips on how to approach a messy home in a way that won’t overwhelm you.

• Turn on relaxing music, a good show on Netflix, candles or oil diffusers. Anything that will get you into cleaning-mode. I enjoy using lavender essential oil; the smell is wonderful and soothing.
• Have some caffeine. If I have to clean in the morning, I usually start after a couple cups of green tea to wake me up.
• Get a short home work out, shower, and then start cleaning. Not only will you check that off your to-do list, but the endorphins you’ll feel after will make you feel pumped and motivated to take on any challenges.
• Start in one room at a time – I either start in my bedroom or in the kitchen which is usually the messiest/hardest part due to numerous dishes in the sink, sweeping and mopping.
• Pile all of the trash together in one bag – ripped up wrapping paper, tags, paper towels, notes, envelopes, receipts, broken tidbits, etc.
• Put everything back in its place. Those cups need to be in the kitchen. Water bottles in the recycle bin. Towels hung in the restroom. Books back on their shelf. Anything that is not in its home, needs to go back there asap.
• Hang all of your clothes that need to be in the closet and fold all of your clothes that need to be in dresser drawers.
• Make your bed. Once it’s made, your whole room looks a little more put together.
• Open the blinds and let light in. A little sunshine will brighten up any room making it look less messier than it is.
• Sweep and mop (or vacuum) every room at the end.
• Organize your dishes before washing them. This habit may not be for everyone as it may take more time to do, but it definitely works for me. I organize all of the cups and mugs in one space, pans in another, stack the plates, and all of the silverware and cooking utensils together. Getting everything organized beforehand helps me visualize how much I have to wash (It usually isn’t as much as it seems) and, in turn, I feel less stressed when approaching a sink full of dirty dishes.
• Make your house smell amazing. Add a scented plug-in to every room for the finishing touch – kitchen, bedroom, office, living room, restroom, etc.

Check out my printable Holiday Cleaning Chart and get your cleaning groove on! Making lists and checking boxes off helps me stay organized and feel accomplished rather than overwhelmed! I left some empty spaces for you guys to add anything else you want to check off your cleaning list plus a space to jot down any notes that will be useful for you. Enjoy!

There is no better time than now to tidy up, organize and reinvent our homes to reflect the clean slate we get with the new year. Happy cleaning!

How do you get into cleaning mode? Loud music? Candles? Hair up? Coffee? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading.
-Jules

One of my goals this December was to finish reading The Confidence Code. The Science and Art of Self-Assurance – What Women Should Know by Katty Kay & Claire Shipman.

Number of pages: 203

We’ve all had feelings of self-doubt. Whether we’re too embarrassed to ask for more money at our job, nervous when giving a speech or holding conversations with people, or ruminating on all the things we did wrong instead of right. Why can’t we be more confident and take more risks? Is it simply wired in our DNA or is confidence something we can learn?

I’ll tell you straight up that this book is not one of those “self-help” advice kind. It’s more factually based with interviews and research from behavioral therapists, neurologists and psychologists.

It first starts off by interviewing women in different environments– sports, law, business. Anyone would think that these women in their professional settings would have sky-high confidence, but would you be surprised to hear that they, too, struggle with feelings of self-doubt? The book also talks about how confidence impacts us as children and the importance of letting our girls make mistakes instead of always praising them for being quiet, well-behaved and reliable.

Below are some key take-aways:

• “A number of studies conducted with MRIs, before and after a short period of meditation, showed less activity in the amygdala (the fear center of the brain) after an average of 8 weeks of meditation.”
• “It’s in school that girls are expected to keep their head’s down, study quietly, and do as they’re told. We didn’t charge down the halls like wild animals, and we didn’t get into fights during recess…” “The result is that making mistakes, and taking risks, behavior critical for confidence building, is also behavior girls are trying to avoid, to their detriment.”
• “Research shows that when a boy fails, he takes it in stride, believing it’s due to lack of effort. When a girl makes a similar mistake she sees herself as sloppy, and comes to believe that it reflects lack of skill.”
• “The fear center of our brain is the amygdalae. We all have two of them. One is associated with taking external action as a result of negative emotions, and the other with using thought processes and memory in response to stress. Men rely more on the amygdala that deals with action, while women tend to activate the memory/emotion amygdala more easily.”
• “The key to creating a growth mind-set is to start small. Think about what you praise in yourself or your kids. If you praise ability by saying, “You’re so smart” or “You’re so good at tennis; you’re a natural athlete,” you are instilling a fixed mind-set. If, however, you say, “You’ve worked so hard at tennis, especially your backhand,” you are encouraging a growth mind-set.”
• “Making a distinction between talent and effort is critical. If we believe that somehow we’re given talents at birth that we can’t control, then we’re unlikely to believe that we can really improve on areas in which we’re weak. But when success is measured by effort and improvement, then it becomes something we can control, something we can choose to improve on.”
• “Claiming a top position always seems daunting, but coasting at the same level doesn’t increase our confidence. The trick is to recognize that the next level up might be hard, that you might be nervous, but to not let those nerves stop you from acting.”
• “Confidence is a choice we can make to act, or to do, or decide.”
• “Is failure really worse than doing nothing? And how often might we have triumphed if we had just decided to give it a try?”
• “Failing fast. Do it, learn and move on.”
• “Instead of saying, “I am not a failure,” it’s more useful to say, “Yes, sometimes I do fail, we all fail, and that’s okay.” It’s extending the same kindness and tolerance – the very same qualities we find so much easier to afford our friends – to ourselves, while coming to terms with our own imperfections.”
• “The people who succeed aren’t always naturals. They are doers.”
• “Upspeak when answering questions. Upspeak: Raising the tone of your voice at the end of a sentence in a way that suggests what you are really doing is asking a question, not making a declaration.”
• “Praise progress not perfection.”
• “Think less. Take action. Be authentic. Confidence is within reach. The experience of it can be addictive. And it’s greatest rewards go well beyond workplace achievements or outward success.”

Overall, this book was very informative and compelling. I recommend it to all the women out there who want to understand how confidence differs in men and women; those who think they are alone in this self-doubt struggle – even professional basketball players, law-makers and CEO’s face daily mind-set battles, and the importance of raising confident daughters by encouraging mistakes and risk taking.

So how to we improve our confidence? Focus on less people pleasing. More action, risk-taking, and fast failure.

One of my goals this 2018 is to work on my confidence. Teaching BJJ to a group of students, mostly men, as a mere blue-belt takes courage and confidence, but I know that I pertain the skills to do so and that it’s my mind-set I have to convince.

Ultimately, confidence takes action and if that leads to mistakes and failure then so be it. I (and you) will eventually learn how to deal with it, accept our imperfections and adopt a growth mind-set.

Do you struggle with confidence? What is one thing you would do if your confidence wasn’t an issue? Leave an answer in the comment section.

Thanks for reading!
-Jules

With the holidays right around the corner, it’s time to dust off your muffin tins and shock your friends and family with your baking skills. This super easy 8-ingredient muffin recipe has some wholesome ingredients and it’s hubby approved so you know it’s yummy! These muffins are ooey-gooey and chocolatey – perfect if you’re craving something sweet without the over-loaded calories and sugar.

Ingredients

• Chocolate protein (I used Designer Whey Gourmet Chocolate flavor)
• Orgain Organic Protein lightly sweetened vanilla Almond Milk
• Barlean’s Flax, chia, coconut blend mix
• Jif creamy peanut butter
• McCormick Ground cinnamon
• Bananas
• Medjool dates
• Semi-sweet chocolate chips

Directions: Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees.

Add 1/2 cup lightly sweetened organic protein vanilla almond milk, 8 tbsp Peanut butter, 10 dates (Make sure you take out the pit), 2 scoops of your favorite chocolate protein, 2 bananas, 2 tsp ground cinnamon, 3 tbsp Flax, chia, coconut blend mix to your food processor. Blend. Remove blade from processor. Stir in 3 tbsp semi-sweet chocolate chips to batter. Place your cupcake/muffin liners in your tray and fill with batter. Smooth over. Add a couple chocolate chips on top for extra delicious decor.

Bake for 20 mins. Makes 12 muffins.

Difficulty level: Easy

Note: You can be creative with this recipe. Add, subtract or substitute ingredients to make it suit your tastebuds/macros. Enjoy!